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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612791">Long Journey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arivainosani/pseuds/Arivainosani'>Arivainosani</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, Barista Mingi, Blood and Gore, Can't relate lol, Crossover elements (Say hi to skz y'all), Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Fake Amnesia, In progress whoops, M/M, Minor Character Death, Modern Assassins, Murder, Not all tags are relevant yet, SVT is here too, San is lowkey a bad guy at first, Seonghwa's a doctor, So is P1Harmony whoops, Some members of other groups die warning warning, Stalking, The crossovers are minor characters, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This got dark srry, Violence, Yeosang doesn't want to die, Yeosang learns to live normally, yunho best boy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:13:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arivainosani/pseuds/Arivainosani</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>POSTED FROM MY WATTY EYY EYY:: When a mission goes wrong and death is inevitable, coldblooded assassin Yeosang realizes his own fear of the death he deals and begins a new life of self-discovery.   Utopia has never seemed so close, but darkness never abandons those raised in the shadows.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Intro: Long Journey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi guys!  Just a warning to PLEASE read the tags.  This fic switches POVs but has indicative dividers, and thank you so much for reading!  This is my first fic, please comment if you notice any typos and I'm totally open to co-authoring!  Let me know!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All Yeosang could hear was sirens.</p>
<p>The world was flashing so many brilliant shades of red and blue he felt dizzy.  His hand pressed to his throat blindly, he could feel warm, thick liquid pulsing through his fingers, yet all he could think of was something he had never contemplated before.</p>
<p>Life.</p>
<p>His own life, the life that took others' with no regrets and never once stopped to ask why. </p>
<p>Many, many things became crystal clear as he lay on that floor.</p>
<p>None clearer than the fact that Yeosang, with what little heart and soul he had finally discovered, did not want to die.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Inception</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Meet Seonghwa, who is taking in the mysterious victim of attempted murder and apparent amnesiac, Yeosang.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So this is him?"</p><p>Staring at the boy in the hospital bed, Seonghwa couldn't possibly get why someone would try to kill him, but that was the story that had been decorating the news for the past month.  Attempted murder of two persons.  One survived, yet this survivor looked barely alive as it was.  His skin was ashen, his hair stringy and unkempt, his eyes puffy and dark, and he had scars littering as much of his arms as Seonghwa could see.  As far as the police had checked, the boy had no background, and the few times the boy had actually spoken to the officers, he hadn't remembered his past at all.</p><p>That was where Seonghwa came in.  Though he was about Seonghwa's age, Seonghwa was at the very least allowed to take this boy in and work with him on his health and mind.  He clearly needed a lot of attention, but Seonghwa was already more than willing to give the boy anything he could.  He turned to the doctor, energy thrumming through his veins.</p><p>"When can I take him in?"</p><p>The man eyed him over.  Seonghwa knew Dr. Woozi well enough.  Though he was almost comically short compared to Seonghwa, Dr. Woozi was stern, intelligent, and practically tireless in his work.  He wouldn't allow the boy out until he was certain Seonghwa could handle him.  Woozi frowned, and Seonghwa felt his heart sink.</p><p>"Not today.  He needs to meet you first and I'm not waking up a patient.  Plus, he's got some issues with handling people, so you'd better be on your best behavior.  You can wait until he's awake and take him in tomorrow, or meet him tomorrow and take him in the day after."</p><p>Seonghwa perked up.  Take him tomorrow?</p><p>"That sounds perfect Woozi, I'll wait!"</p><p>"Doctor." He corrected, but he was smiling as he met Seonghwa's shining eyes.  "Wait here, then.  And you still have to go home when visiting hours are over, even if he's not awake!"</p><p>Seonghwa nodded and sent a rushed text to Hongjoong.  "We'll have him by tomorrow."  Hongjoong left him on read, the bastard, but Seonghwa knew he shared his excitement.  After a few minutes of silent waiting, he texted Hongjoong again.  Make him one of your signature keychain thingies.  This time, Hongjoong replied with a quick, "k."  He was lucky Seonghwa was in such a good mood, because rather than lecture him, Seonghwa turned his attention to the nameless boy on the bed.</p><p>He looked like he could be pretty if he wasn't so ill.  He had a delicate face with long, wispy eyelashes and high cheekbones.  A tiny scar adorned the skin next to his eye, or was it a birthmark?  The rest of the boy's body was scarred, but his face was at least unmarked.  The scars that decorated his body looked eerily self-inflicted, and it made Seonghwa feel ill.</p><p>It crushed him, really.  To be an innocent witness to a murder and nearly die trying to save a life, just to forget who he was?  It felt cruel and drained the energy from Seonghwa's bones.  Yet as time passed and the boys' eyes didn't open, he at least opted to be productive as he waited.  Dr. Woozi was a very disorganized person, and Seonghwa was addicted to cleaning.  So while Woozi would never admit it, he loved when Seonghwa organized his papers or dusted his floors when he was too busy, and he was a very busy man.</p><p>Resisting the urge to peek at the assorted files on Woozi's desk, Seonghwa began sorting them as rapidly as possible (as jobs in progress gave him headaches) and the task was completed within minutes.  Hunting through Woozi's little closet of cleaning supplies, he sorted that first, because somehow even Woozi's cleaning supplies were messy.  After that came dusting... then sweeping... and then... nothing.  He was out of tasks.</p><p>Flopping back into his chair next to the still-silent boy, he only had one option left- Hongjoong.  "If this kid doesn't wake up we won't get him until the day after tomorrow instead :( "  He half-expected Hongjoong to ignore him, but instead he sent back an image of a half-finished keychain and nothing else.  Seonghwa grinned at the image, knowing that was just Hongjoong's way of offering solidarity.</p><p>"Doctor?"  Seonghwa turned to the doorway to respond, but it was empty.  Breath catching, he spun around to the boy on the bed.  The boy blinked back at him.<br/>
"Doctor?"</p><p>Seonghwa bolted to his feet, spinning on his heel to find Woozi.  Bursting out of the doorway, Seonghwa nearly trampled him as Woozi himself went to grab the doorknob.</p><p>"Seonghwa!  What the hell!"</p><p>He went to apologize, but then remembered why he'd needed the doctor in the first place.</p><p>"He just woke up, he's asking for you," Seonghwa blurted, staving off the lecture.</p><p>Woozi shot him a glare but darted inside anyway.  The boy was sitting up in bed, staring at Seonghwa as if he was an alien.  Woozi, totally switching up his attitude, gave him a gentle smile.</p><p>"Hey.  This is Seonghwa.  Remember when I said someone's going to come take care of you?  This is him."</p><p>The boy stared up at Seonghwa with wide eyes.  After a moment, Seonghwa smiled at him.  The boy took a very deep breath, and said, </p><p>"Hi.  You're very tall.  Especially next to him."</p><p>Seonghwa burst into laughter while Woozi fumed beside him.</p><p>"Yes, that's because he's tall and I'm short.  I get it.  Now you two can talk, I have to go."</p><p>Instantly the boy looked distressed.  "Wait, doctor, can I have some water? Please?"</p><p>Woozi softened in an instant.</p><p>"Of course.  Oh, and, Seonghwa!  Thanks for cleaning up."</p><p>Seonghwa shot him an award-winning smile and turned back to the kid in bed.  He looked even worse now that he was awake, face pulled into a grimace as he stared at Seonghwa with what seemed to be sharp distaste.  Staring back at him, for a moment Seonghwa completely blanked on the speech he had been intending to give.  It wasn't until Woozi returned with the water and gave him a sharp jab that he burst into action.</p><p>"Um, hi!  Hi, yeah, it's nice to meet you.  I'm Seonghwa!  My friend Hongjoong and I are going to be looking after you for a little while.  I know this process can be a little scary, but I promise we'll be here for anything you need until you're feeling better, and maybe start getting some memories back.  Sounds good, right?  You can ask me anything!"</p><p>The boy just stared.  After a long few moments, Seonghwa slumped a little.  "Um, you can tell me any concerns you have.  Do you remember your name?  Or anything else?"</p><p>The boy grimaced.  "No, I don't.  I can't remember anything, sorry."</p><p>Seonghwa pouted before remembering he was supposed to look professional, and went into the next phase of his questioning.  "So the doctors said they've tested you and you don't seem to have any allergies, but to still be a little careful with your diet.  Do you have any favorite foods you've tried since you woke up?"</p><p>That, at least, got his attention.  "Um, Dr. Woozi gave me this snack, but I don't think I was supposed to have it, so no?"  He held out a wrapper, and for a second there Seonghwa really wanted to punch Woozi.</p><p>Homerun Balls.  They're not dangerous or anything, just little chocolate bites, but that didn't mean the boy could <em>have<em> them, he needed to form a healthy diet.  Sure, one may call him overprotective, but nobody could tell him this kid didn't need it.</em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em>"Uh, no, you're not supposed to have those."  The boy drooped, and Seonghwa nearly bit his tongue off.  "But you can have them once in a while if you eat well!"</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>At the very least, watching him sit up again was worth it- Seonghwa was not going to have this kid hating him right off the bat.  "Is there anything else you've come to like?  Favorite colors or animals?"</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Color filled the boy's ears and cheeks, and he shook his head.  "I haven't really looked into much... everything feels foreign."</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Seonghwa gave a sympathetic nod, trying to no avail to get the boy to look him in the eye.  "Is there a name you want to be called?"</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>At that, for whatever reason, the boy's expression grew solemn.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>"You can call me Yeosang."<em></em></em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Declaration</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Meet Hongjoong, the nervous and artsy mystery of a man who's just along for the ride, or so he wishes</p><p>-----<br/>^ An indicative divider for a switch in point of view</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hongjoong was... curious, to say the least.  Seonghwa had come home in a fit of giggles and bolted straight up to their room without saying a word.  He was occupied, however, since he had to add the finishing touches to the keychain now that it was dry.  He was barefoot on the kitchen floor, (he was forbidden to work on carpet since the... incident) with his supplies scattered about.  Though he'd spilled the red on his toes somehow, most of the paint was on the keychain and his tarp, so he considered his work a success.</p><p>Holding it at a distance, it honestly looked really cool, striped red and black with the letter "Y" on it- apparently the guy wanted to be called Yeosang.  Hongjoong couldn't understand why Seonghwa liked this dude so much.  He was like, their age, but for some reason Seonghwa thought of him as a baby.  Hongjoong was not about to be a father to someone who could damn well be older than him.  Ew.</p><p>But, what made Seonghwa happy made Hongjoong happy, so he darted upstairs to show off his creation for Seonghwa's new baby.</p><p>"Seonghwa~" He trilled through the door, rapping his knuckles against the wood.  "I finished it!"</p><p>There were soft, rapid pats of feet racing to the door before Seonghwa threw it open, beaming at him as he admired the keychain.</p><p>"It's so cool Hongjoong!  You're the best!  You've cleaned up your area?"  Hongjoong waved the question off, grinning at his little masterpiece.  </p><p>"I will!"  Seonghwa frowned down at him, knowing Hongjoong probably wouldn't follow through and he'd be stuck with it later.  Hongjoong just batted his eyelashes up at him,  beaming and dangling the keychain around.  It tinkled in his palm, the little flag hanging in the air.  It was pretty cool alright.  Seonghwa pulled Hongjoong into his side, smiling down at him.</p><p>"It's really cool, Joong.  I think he'll like it.  You'd better be nice to him though!"  Hongjoong broke into giggles at that, surrendering to the hug.  After a few content moments, Seonghwa pushed him away again.  "It's late, Joongie.  Clean up your supplies and we can go to bed."</p><p>Hongjoong slumped, but slipped back downstairs to clean up.  When he made it downstairs, though, something was... off.  Maybe it was paranoia, Seonghwa would say it was nothing, but Hongjoong had instincts.  He turned in a careful circle, but the room was empty.  The doors were locked.  Everything felt wrong, though.  He almost didn't want to crouch down and pick up his supplies.  Only then did he actually examine them.</p><p>His paintbrush was gone.</p><p>"Seonghwa!"  The cry left his lips in a panic, and he heard something clatter behind him.  The cry turned to a screech, but he was in Seonghwa's arms, pulled close.  Pulse roaring in his ears, he turned into Seonghwa's embrace, stifling a sob.</p><p>"Hongjoong!  Hongjoong, shh, what's wrong, what did you see?"  Seonghwa's voice was calming even when panicked, and Hongjoong damn near went limp in his arms, shuddering.  Seonghwa pulled him closer, threading his fingers through his hair.  "What's wrong?"</p><p>"I dunno," Was the only response Hongjoong could find.  Seonghwa relaxed and pulled him closer.  "Hongjoong, Joongie, please don't scare me like that.  I know you get scared easy, I'm sorry I made you come down here alone.  I'll help you clean up, okay?"</p><p>Hongjoong flushed, not wanting it to look like he'd panicked to make Seonghwa help clean.  Yet, looking at the floor, he still couldn't see his brush.  "Seonghwa, my brush, where'd it go?  I left it in the cup."</p><p>Seonghwa glanced at the supplies, and Hongjoong felt him frown against his cheek.  "Are you sure you didn't misplace it, love?"  Hongjoong nodded fervently and Seonghwa let him go, kneeling beside the supplies and checking around.  Hongjoong was stressed now, picking at his hair as he surveyed the floor.  "Hwa, I never lose my supplies!"</p><p>Seonghwa sighed and stood back up, reaching over to ruffle Hongjoong's hair.  "You probably just left it somewhere down here."  He scanned the floor again, frowning.  "Let's just clean up in the morning, okay?  I think we both need some rest for our new roommate tomorrow."</p><p>Hongjoong just nodded, clinging to the keychain.  He'd feel better in the morning, he knew, but he didn't like the feelings he got from the house right now... he didn't like them.  Hwa tugged on his arm, clearly wanting him to just come upstairs, but Hongjoong just didn't feel right.  "Seonghwa..." He gave his best puppy eyes.  "Can't we go somewhere?  I don't feel good in the house."  </p><p>"Hongjoong, no.  We need to go to bed.  It's already late and we're having Yeosang come tomorrow.  We can't be all tired and cranky." Seonghwa's response was quiet but firm, and Hongjoong knew he wouldn't budge.  He was reluctant, to say the least, but Seonghwa wasn't wrong, and the last thing Hongjoong wanted to be was a burden.  With the hairs on the back of his neck still prickling, he headed up to bed, nuzzled into Seonghwa's shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>Yeosang let out the breath he'd been holding as he watched the two retreat back up the stairs.  Hongjoong was... alarming.  He had good enough instincts to know Yeosang was there the second he reached the bottom of the stairs.  Worse still, upon listening to the two's footfalls, Hongjoong's were barely even there.  He'd have to be careful.  Hongjoong was scary.  Glancing down at the paintbrush in his hand, he was no longer quite so curious about painting.</p><p>       Placing the paintbrush half-covered by the tarp where Hongjoong could find it in the morning, Yeosang checked his fingers.  They were coated in paint, and he thought it looked nice, as if he himself were a painting.  He really wanted Hongjoong to like him, especially since it didn't seem like he liked people easily.  In that case, he should probably stop breaking into their house.  Retreating back through the window that was always left unlocked, Yeosang began the hour-long walk back to the hospital.</p><p>Running his hands along the stones lining the neighborhood buildings, Yeosang was curious.  It felt like that was all he could be, either curious or scared.  Only one thing was truly scary- dying.  Everything else was curious, nothing more so than Seonghwa and Hongjoong, and he was glad he wouldn't have to break into their house a fourth time.  </p><p>He'd be welcome, now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Take Me Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hongjoong arrives at the hospital to retrieve Yeosang- an exciting mystery</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lmk if u catch spelling errors- waited so long to post this that ATEEZ dropped a new album and had a song title that fit the chapter lmaoo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hongjoong had only just woken up and Seonghwa was already a mess of anti-mess.  The entire house smelled of cleaning agents, there were lint rollers by Hongjoong's bed, and he could faintly hear the roaring of their ancient granny vacuum that Seonghwa always insisted 'worked well enough to keep.'  Hongjoong hated all of it.  He usually went out somewhere during Seonghwa's cleaning rampages, but Yeosang would probably arrive soon so he couldn't leave.  In that case, he only had one option left to avoid Seonghwa's terrifying cleanse- sleep more.</p>
<p>        Rolling back over, he snuggled into the comforter of his bed, trying to block out the deafening vacuum.  After a few warm moments in the confines of his sheets, the vacuum died down and Hongjoong immediately knew Seonghwa would be coming to check on him.  Hongjoong could sleep through just about anything, so if he faked sleep well enough he knew Seonghwa would never wake him up.  Keeping his pose perfectly still, Hongjoong lay and listened to the soft knocks on their bedroom door, followed by insistent whispers of his name.  If Seonghwa really wanted him up, he'd just burst in, but the quiet shuffling as Seonghwa entered the room told Hongjoong he was safe.</p>
<p>        Seonghwa's fingers brushed over Hongjoong's hair when he came near and he had to suppress a shiver.  Seonghwa was... nice.  In a lot of ways.  Especially in the mornings, when his voice was raspy and he smelled nice and he was petting Hongjoong's hair as he pretended to sleep.  Very nice.  Hongjoong smiled against his own will and felt Seonghwa giggle, keeping his eyes closed.</p>
<p>        "Hongjoong... Did I wake you up?  You can go back to sleep, I'm almost done cleaning."</p>
<p>        He shuffled at that, giving Seonghwa his most dazzling grin.</p>
<p>        "You... aren't gonna make me clean?"  Seonghwa glanced down at him and sighed.</p>
<p>        "No, because you're the one who's going to pick up Yeosang and drive him home.  In two hours- You hear me, Hongjoong?  Two hours.  You need to be up, presentable, and leaving in an hour and a half- an hour and a half  Hongjoong, do not be late.  I swear if you make that boy wait on a home-cooked meal I'll chuck you out of this damn window.   Am I understood?"</p>
<p>        Cowering, Hongjoong gave a hurried nod, and Seonghwa leaned down and hoisted him out of the bed's warmth.  Hongjoong wanted to be pouty, but despite never meeting Yeosang, Hongjoong felt bad for him.  Amnesia plus apparent short-term memory loss sounded pretty annoying.  Right, shit, he'd almost forgotten.  The dude forgets stuff he's just been told as well.  Not to mention, amnesia is different in real life than in the movies - Yeosang doesn't even remember how to read.  Hongjoong wasn't planning on making the boy wait on comfort either.</p>
<p>        At the very least, Hongjoong was used to Seonghwa taking in the mentally ill.  While it didn't always work out, the experience had them pretty much ready for anything.</p>
<p>        "Hwa," He murmured, keeping a little sleep in his voice so that Seonghwa would get that soft look in his eyes and be nice, "Could you make me something little?  I know you're cleaning, but I gotta get ready."</p>
<p>        Seonghwa sighed but smiled, and Hongjoong knew he'd won.  "Okay, but you're on thin ice today.  Please be nice, and brush your teeth."  Hongjoong laughed, pressing Seonghwa's face away from his and sliding out of the bed for a full-body stretch.  He felt... safe.  Safer than last night, and it was pleasant.  "By the way, Joong, I found your paintbrush.  It was under your tarp, and you got paint on the floor.  I took care of it, but be more careful."</p>
<p>        Hongjoong's heart sank a little.  Not only did he scare Seonghwa, but it was for no reason other than a paintbrush that ended up getting paint on the floor.  Hongjoong was usually more cautious than that when he painted.  "Wait, Seonghwa, you cleaned up the area?  You didn't have to!"  Seonghwa giggled and turned to go back to downstairs.</p>
<p>        "Only because it was in my way.  And it's okay, you owe me!"  Hongjoong scowled, he hated owing Seonghwa things, especially cause he always cashed them in when Hongjoong was relaxing.</p>
<p>        "Next time, wake me and ask.  I'd rather clean up paint than deal with your little favors."  Seonghwa giggled in return and Hongjoong stepped into the bathroom.  He looked like a wreck.  His hair, which he had bleached white recently, was sticking up in every direction it could.  He gave himself a confident grin before he began one of his notoriously long showers- according to Seonghwa, that was.  Really, 45 minutes isn't that long.  It's not that Hongjoong was particularly busy during that time, he just really likes the water.  It's his thing- water rat, Seonghwa called him.</p>
<p>        "Hwa!  Towel?" He's met with a tired sigh and the creak of a door opening.  To his surprise, Seonghwa didn't lecture him for forgetting a towel, and instead said "Less than an hour, Hongjoong."</p>
<p>        Which was honestly a little scary.</p>
<p>        Hongjoong opted to wear something artsy- while he wanted to make a good impression, he didn't want the guy expecting something Hongjoong couldn't give- Hongjoong wasn't the type of person to try and please others, and he took pride in it too, so society could kiss his ass as long as he was comfy.  And for him, comfortable meant the clothes he'd altered himself, down to his own earrings.  Once he deemed himself gorgeous enough, he fled down the stairs, well aware that the clock was ticking down to his inevitable demise if he was late.</p>
<p>        Seonghwa was cleaning the kitchen still, or maybe even again, when Hongjoong reached the foot of the stairs.  An egg and some toast sat on a too-big paper plate, and Hongjoong rushed to hug Seonghwa from behind before he doubled back to eat.  Seonghwa took the seat across from him, sipping from a chipped mug that said "#1 MOM."  He looked scary.  Hongjoong checked his watch.</p>
<p>        "Please don't stare me down when I have a half an hour.  You're scaring me.  We don't live that far from the hospital, I'll get there, I promise."</p>
<p>        To Hongjoong's dismay, Seonghwa just shrugged and smiled at him.  Needless to say, he ate quickly and practically hurtled out of the door, nearly dropping his keys as he snatched them off of their hook by the door.  Finally, he could breathe.  Sort of.  The fine dust from local pollution in the air was supposed to be bad today, and he reluctantly dug out a mask from his coat pocket and slipped it on as he headed out toward Seonghwa's signature bright white and totally unnecessary minivan.  They didn't even live with anyone else, Seonghwa just wanted one.  At this point, they should just adopt a kid instead of taking in the mentally ill.  It would probably be a lot easier.</p>
<p>        The drive to hospital was nice and short- Seonghwa had made a point to live close to his work station in the neighboring psych ward.  Even as he stepped out of the obnoxious minivan, Hongjoong felt content- and painfully curious.  He wanted to know what the boy looked like, what he sounded like, everything.  Seonghwa has always advised him not to get attached to the patients, but Hongjoong just loved people.  He was excited.</p>
<p>        The hospital was delightfully cold inside, and it gave Hongjoong happy chills.  Their future patient was on the third floor with Dr. Woozi, apparently.  Hongjoong knew of Woozi- or at least knew he was short and mean.  Seonghwa had worked with the doctor often, but complained about him just as much.  Hongjoong knew everyone from their worst deeds- he was aware all he heard of others was Seonghwa's exhausted vents at the end of work days, but he was fairly certain Woozi was somewhat of a dick.</p>
<p>        "Hi!  I'm here for a Yeosang, on the third floor?"</p>
<p>        The receptionist gave him a polite smile and turned to her computer for a few moments.  "Room 311!  Make sure to knock before entering, and please stay quiet in the halls.  Will that be all?"</p>
<p>        Hongjoong nodded and headed straight toward the stairs.  Room 311!  He'd never been up to the third floor of the hospital before, it made him feel bouncy.  He'd somehow expected the hallway to be empty, like in the movies, but there were people all scattered around.  People in white jackets and blue clothes hung outside of doors, talking to visitors and patients.  A man in a wheelchair gave Hongjoong a respectful nod as he passed.  The area felt congested, but at the same time it helped him to breathe a little easier.  He knocked on door 311.</p>
<p>        "Excuse me, Dr. Woozi?  Are you in there?"  He waited a few moments, when a soft voice from inside replied,</p>
<p>"He's away right now.  You can come in, though."</p>
<p>        Hongjoong didn't know the voice- it was deep, but soft, and spoke slowly.  Then again, it's not like any voices here would be familiar.  He carefully opened the door and stepped inside.</p>
<p>        "Are you Seonghwa?"  A man was in the little hospital bed- he looked younger than Hongjoong by quite a bit, but he was cute- and very clearly ill.  Stark, thin fingers clung to his sheets like a lifeline, and his hair hung in his eyes in thin, frizzy strings.  He had obviously bathed recently, but he was lacking any kind of after-shower glow.  Instead, his skin was pallid and he had puffy eyebags that seemed to drain the life from his gaze.  Hongjoong smiled at him, feeling his heart race with excitement- this was Yeosang.</p>
<p>        "Nope!  You met Seonghwa yesterday, if you remember.  I'm Hongjoong, Seonghwa and I live together.  I'm here to take you to our house to rest and start your recovery!  Do you know where Woozi is?"  Hongjoong then gave his brightest smile, because with every word he'd spoken the boy had shrunk further into himself.</p>
<p>        "No... but I can press this button to say I need him.  It's for emergencies, though."  Yeosang gestured vaguely to a little button on the wall, and Hongjoong picked up on the tremors running through his frail fingers.  </p>
<p>        "Uh, no, that won't be necessary!  I can just wait.  We can talk until then!  Tell me about yourself- what do you know so far?"  Hongjoong stared expectantly, hoping for the usual spiel, but the man just shrugged.</p>
<p>        "Nothing besides what I look like, to be honest.  And that I like chocolate."  Yeosang smiled at him- an invitation.  Hongjoong just stared.  It was an odd thing to process, as someone who loved people so much.  A person with no story- a blank slate.  And it was staring at him like a person.  Hongjoong didn't like the feeling it gave him at all.  There was a quiet knock at the door.</p>
<p>        "Yeosang.  It's Doctor Woozi- who are you talking to?"  Yeosang sat up a little straighter- by the looks of it, he remembered the doctor well.</p>
<p>        "There's a man in here with me.  He's going to take me home."  Hongjoong winced- maybe Yeosang forgot his name, but the vague phrasing sounded shady.  Unsurprisingly, Woozi's head poked through the door moments later.  He fixed Hongjoong with a menacing stare.</p>
<p>        "Who're you?  Why are you in here?"  Hongjoong stood up, trying not to appear overexcited.</p>
<p>        "I'm Kim Hongjoong, Seonghwa's roommate!  He told me you work together often.  I'm here to pick up Yeosang."</p>
<p>        The doctor wavered, then stepped fully through the doorway.  His eyes were still menacing, but notably less so.  </p>
<p>        "You shouldn't be in here without my direct permission- but since this is the first time you're here, I'll be nice and not call security.  Seonghwa's mentioned you in the past- you fit the description, I suppose.  I'm Doctor Woozi- and you have some papers to sign."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hongjoong was eight minutes late.  Rather than feeling particularly angry, Seonghwa was worried.  Hongjoong rarely risked physical harm like this- meaning something had caught him up.  It wasn't that Seonghwa didn't trust Hongjoong- he knew Hongjoong would handle things to the best of his abilities- Hongjoong just had a very... unique... set of abilities... not particularly geared towards rational problem-solving.  If something had come up- it was likely that Hongjoong wouldn't go about handling it well.</p><p>It should've been simple- drive there, talk to Woozi, sign the papers, pick up Yeosang, drive back.  Yet the more Seonghwa thought about it- the more things could've gone wrong.  Hongjoong wasn't the best driver despite his honest efforts, and he definitely wasn't the best at handling professional situations.  Woozi was a harsh man, too- if Hongjoong slipped up Woozi would sooner bite his head off than hand Yeosang over.  Seonghwa decided to give it some time- ten minutes.  If Hongjoong wasn't back in ten minutes, he'd go out himself.</p><p>By the time 6 minutes had passed, Seonghwa was grabbing his keys.  He wasn't usually this anxious, but there was a patient involved, and- he could just text.  His hand fell back to his side.  His brain had skipped directly over texting, calling, or even waiting the full ten minutes.  Feeling spectacularly dumb, he slipped his coat back off and picked up his phone.  There it was- a text from Hongjoong.  From 15 minutes ago.  "Sorry, holdup, &gt;paperwork."  Seonghwa felt ridiculous.  He was about to rush out the door, and he hadn't even checked his phone.  Where was his head?  Before he could backtrack, the door opened, and he startled, dropping his keys back onto the counter.</p><p>"Hi Seonghwa!  I'm back!"  Hongjoong practically burst into the house, dragging the poor soul that was Yeosang behind him.  "What, were you about to come pick us up?  We're alive and well, as promised!"</p><p>Seonghwa raised an eyebrow in response.  "You, maybe.  The medical patient you're dragging around by the wrist doesn't seem quite as 'well' as you say."</p><p>Hongjoong dropped Yeosang's wrist abruptly, and for a moment, all the focus was averted.  "Yeosang," Seonghwa tried, keeping his voice soft and welcoming, "I'm glad to see you're here.  Do you want something to eat?  I'm sure you're tired."</p><p>Yeosang glanced up, completely tense, caution clear in his eyes.  "I'm fine.  Thank you."</p><p>Seonghwa accepted the response as best as he could, but he could scarcely hide his worry.  Yeosang was frail, and obviously exhausted.  He didn't even look around the house- he just kept his gaze on the floor.  Seonghwa carefully held out a hand- an offer.  "I'll show you to your room.  I have the rooms all labeled in case you forget where everything is."</p><p>Yeosang finally looked up, brightening considerably.  Clearly he hadn't expected the gesture, and Seonghwa felt a little rush of pride.  Yeosang didn't take his hand, and Seonghwa retracted it, but he felt like he'd made a good impression.  He gave a little wave and started up the stairs, but when he checked back to make sure Yeosang was following, he was indeed not.  Instead, he was staring at Hongjoong, expression blank.  Much to Seonghwa's surprise, Yeosang seemed to be staring at Hongjoong's earrings.</p><p>"Aren't those for women?"  By the tone of his voice, the question was genuine.  Hongjoong paused in his retreat to the kitchen and glanced over to Yeosang, clearly unsure how to take the question.  "I've never seen a man wear jewelry before."</p><p>Seonghwa took a moment to think; either Yeosang had a conservative past and genuinely wasn't used to seeing men in jewelry- an objectively good sign, a sign of memory and familiarity- or Yeosang had forgotten ever doing so.  Neither were all that reassuring in their own ways, but the question was innocent enough.  Hongjoong glanced over to Seonghwa and he shrugged in response.  Clearly defeated, he turned back to Yeosang.</p><p>"In some places, men don't really wear jewelry.  This isn't a place like that.  Besides, don't I look pretty?"  Hongjoong gave his signature broad grin and held out his hands to show off his rings, and Seonghwa barely stifled a sigh.</p><p>"Yes.  You do."  The response was spoken in absolute sincerity, and for a moment Hongjoong looked flattered.</p><p>"Yeosang, please, come upstairs.  I'll get you some water, even if you don't want to eat anything."  Yeosang's attention seemed to return, and he followed Seonghwa up the stairs.  Seonghwa was well aware that Yeosang couldn't read, so each room was labeled with a little picture, courtesy of Hongjoong.  Seonghwa and Hongjoong's room had a little sketch of them together, the bathroom had a toilet above it, and Yeosang's room- their usual patient room- had a small heart.  Yeosang stared at the labels for a moment, clearly lost.</p><p>"Which one's for me?"</p><p>Seonghwa just smiled at him.  "The one with the heart."</p><p>Yeosang looked up at it, studying the little picture.  When the silence dragged out just a little too long, Seonghwa stepped up and opened the door for him.  The room had beige walls and adjustable lighting to ensure any patient's comfort.  It had a bed, a dresser, and all the other essentials Yeosang might need, including a small vanity set.  Dr. Woozi had made it clear that Yeosang had been living in very poor hygiene up until present, so Seonghwa had made sure to obtain all sorts of soaps and deodorants and toothpastes so he could pick what he liked.  Yeosang hadn't been dirty by choice, they'd determined, especially since upon having his body and teeth cleaned Yeosang had insisted on looking in the hospital mirror for hours.</p><p>Seonghwa was well-prepared, and quite proud of it.  Barely able to contain his excitement, he turned to Yeosang and took a deep breath.  </p><p>"How do you like it?"</p><p>Yeosang stared at him.  "This... is for me?"</p><p>Seonghwa nodded fervently.  "There's more, of course, but this is your room."</p><p>He watched Yeosang inhale.  Exhale.  He looked at Seonghwa, then back around the room.  He seemed completely lost.  Seonghwa decided to let him process, take his time.  Finally, Yeosang seemed to come to a decision.  He walked over to the bed and sat down.  Seonghwa felt all the tension leaving his body at the action- He'd been sufficient, Yeosang was okay.</p><p>"Wait here, please, I'll get you a glass of water.  You should rest for now, and be careful with your throat.  I know it's mostly healed, but it's better to be safe."  Yeosang hummed, reclining further into the bed, and Seonghwa shut the door and hurried downstairs with a smile.</p><p>Hongjoong sat at the base of the steps with a knowing smile.  Eavesdropper.  Even so, Seonghwa couldn't help himself.</p><p>"He likes it!  He's getting settled in now.  I'm just gonna let him rest for today and we'll start with the soaps and stuff tomorrow."</p><p>Hongjoong hopped up to his feet, extending a glass of water.</p><p>"You're doing amazing, Hwa.  Let me know if you need anything."</p><p>Seonghwa took it gratefully and darted back up the stairs.  He knocked on Yeosang's door, but there was no response.  Seonghwa peeked in, half-wondering if the boy was asleep, but the room was completely empty.  Definitely not good.  Backing out quickly, he checked the bathroom, but that was empty as well.  Meaning- He glanced inside his own room and there Yeosang was, looking around with an expression of blank wonder.  He'd been so quiet upstairs, Seonghwa was honestly shocked.  </p><p>"Yeosang, why are you in here?  You should rest."</p><p>Yeosang turned back to him, and Seonghwa could see that something was wrong, but what?  The boy blinked at him a few times, and then said, absolutely genuine, </p><p>"Where is it?  I'm in here."</p><p>Severe short-term memory loss, induced by physical trauma.  Seonghwa hadn't worked with such a patient before, but the fact that Yeosang had already completely forgotten where he was definitely hit hard as a reality check.</p><p>"Um... this room belongs to Hongjoong and me.  Yours is down the hall, with the heart above it."</p><p>"Oh.  Okay."  Yeosang walked right past him, back to his own room, and glanced back over at Seonghwa.  "This one is mine.  It's down the hall.  It has a heart.  Okay."</p><p>Worry dissolved into pity, and Seonghwa guided him to the bed and set the glass of water on the nightstand.</p><p>"Here.  Get some rest."  He helped Yeosang adjust the bedsheets, and basically tucked him in.  The poor thing was clearly exhausted, and by the time Seonghwa had left the room his breathing had evened out into sleep.</p><p>Oh, Seonghwa was so worried.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Mist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hehehe two chapters one day<br/>I am happy with the direction so far<br/>But are you...?<br/>(Also, comment any characters/groups you'd like to see in the fic!  Could use some inspo yk??</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was quickly established that Yeosang could not be left alone for long.  Though usually by accident, he always seemed to get in the way of everything Hongjoong did, and constantly forgot when and why Hongjoong was mad at him.  It created an endless cycle of-</p><p>Yeosang, bad.  Hongjoong, yell.  Yeosang, sulk.  Yeosang, recover completely and do it again cause he forgot he wasn't supposed to.  Yeosang, bad.</p><p>It was driving Hongjoong crazy.  He got it, there was physical trauma and whatever, and Yeosang forgets everything for a reason, and he shouldn't get so angry.  But there was nothing more infuriating than Yeosang entering Hongjoong's room for the fourth time, bright-eyed and curious, interrupting Hongjoong's careful focus on his artwork to ask where Seonghwa was.  Another thing that drove Hongjoong crazy.</p><p>Yeosang had developed separation anxiety from Seonghwa within days.  He kept forgetting Hongjoong, and Hongjoong kept scaring him by just being around, but he always remembered Seonghwa.  He followed the man everywhere around the house, learning Seonghwa's intricate systems and chores and then totally forgetting about them, which drove Seonghwa equal amounts crazy.  Yeosang was even worse than Hongjoong when it came to cleaning up and breaking things.  Hongjoong took a very deep breath and responded, a little more coldly than he'd meant to,</p><p>"Seonghwa isn't home right now.  Quit asking, and knock before you come in.  It's not that hard."</p><p>Yeosang looked crestfallen, and shuffled awkwardly for a moment, and Hongjoong waited for the man to creep away, but instead he stepped further into the room this time.</p><p>"Well, what're you doing?"</p><p>Hongjoong stared up at him in disbelief.  Yeosang almost never deviated from his routines when he forgot something.</p><p>"Umm, well, I'm painting.  Have you ever painted before?"  The question came out on instinct, but he winced.  Yeosang wouldn't remember.  But to his surprise, Yeosang nodded.</p><p>"I painted on my hands before.  Just not very well."</p><p>The response invigorated Hongjoong.  He'd remembered something- something artsy.  Hongjoong loved painting on his hands and arms, he did it all the time when he didn't wanna use canvases.  Sure, Yeosang had been disappointing for Hongjoong, who wanted to know everything about him.  But what if Hongjoong could turn the blank slate that was Yeosang's personality into a painting?  Or, better yet, a painter?</p><p>"What did you paint?  Do you remember?"</p><p>Yeosang edged forward and grabbed a paintbrush, dipping it delicately into the red splotch.  For the next several minutes, Hongjoong stared in awe as Yeosang drew little red splatters across his arm- a perfect imitation of flicked paint.  It was honestly impressive, but Yeosang looked disappointed.</p><p>"It's not right.  The color's too light."</p><p>Hongjoong laughed a little too loudly- of course he wouldn't know how to blend the colors.  Grabbing the little black dropper, Hongjoong began to carefully mix the two, watching the color grow darker.</p><p>"Let me know when the color's right."</p><p>Yeosang studied the paints with equal intensity, before finally he held out a hand.</p><p>"That's good.  It looks right."</p><p>Hongjoong sat back and stared for a second.  The paint was deep red, glistening like blood.  Blood?  Hongjoong glanced back at Yeosang's arm in amazement.  Yeosang was drawing injuries.  Cuts, flecked paint like blood spray.  Hongjoong watched in mounting horror as Yeosang carefully recolored each dot, until his entire arm glistened with patches of fresh wet paint.  Hongjoong couldn't help it anymore- he gagged.</p><p>"Hongjoong?"  It was panicked.  Hongjoong glanced up and met Yeosang's frightened eyes.  "Are you poisoned?"</p><p>He pushed the man back a little.  "I'm fine, I'm fine.  But, Yeosang, that looks gruesome.  It looks like you got hurt."</p><p>Yeosang glanced down at his arm in amazement.  "I did that?"</p><p>Hongjoong nodded.</p><p>"We should clean it off.  It looks scary"</p><p>Hongjoong couldn't have agreed more.  Halfway to the kitchen sink, the door opened.  Seonghwa stepped in, damp with rain and bright as ever, and stopped dead in the doorway.</p><p>"Yeosang?"</p><p>Before he could panic and run for a med kit, Hongjoong stopped Seonghwa with a hand.</p><p>"It's paint, Hwa!  Yeosang knows how to paint.  We were painting."</p><p>Seonghwa fixed him with the most venomous gaze he had ever seen.</p><p>"Seriously?  That's paint?"</p><p>Yeosang cut them both off with a joyous bounce.  "Isn't it kinda realistic?  I did good, I think!"</p><p>Seonghwa took a deep breath, relaxed, and gave Yeosang a warm smile.  "It's amazing, you're very talented Yeosang.  I didn't know you could paint.  I trust Hongjoong was nice to you?"</p><p>For once, Hongjoong was glad Yeosang had poor memory, because he smiled and bounced with absolute certainty.  In all honesty, Yeosang was starting to feel less like a patient and more like a puppy- a puppy with terrible, terrible memory.</p><p>"Hongjoong, I want to talk to you."</p><p>Oh.  Oh, no.  That could not be good.  Hongjoong was most definitely in trouble- what had he done?  Desperately racking his brain, he gave a terse nod and started up the stairs to their room.  It was probably about the paint, he knew, but he couldn't help being nervous.  Seonghwa followed close behind him, making a point to close the door behind them.  For a moment, Seonghwa was sidetracked because- oh no- Hongjoong hadn't cleaned up and he wasn't supposed to paint in their bedroom.  For a few moments, Seonghwa stayed silent, before he cast a composed look down at Hongjoong.  He cocked an eyebrow, and Hongjoong practically cowered.</p><p>"Painting in the bedroom I see, Hongjoong?"</p><p>Hongjoong gave a nervous chuckle that died in his throat as Seonghwa held his gaze.  After a few more moments, he mustered up the courage to whisper, </p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>Seonghwa sighed heavily and glanced back at Hongjoong's half-finished work.</p><p>"It looks good so far, Joong.  Now, I wanted to talk to you about Yeosang.  I think he's starting to compose enough to start going outside.  I got the medical bracelets for him today.  So long as we accompany him, he should be able to start getting reacquainted with the rest of the world."</p><p>Hongjoong had never felt so relieved in his entire life.  Seonghwa has never had to talk to him privately unless it was a bad thing.</p><p>"Also, on a separate note, Yeosang is washing his hands in the sink now.  Did he actually paint that on himself?  That scared me."</p><p>"Yeah, he did it himself.  I was shocked too- He said he'd painted on himself before and did that.  I'm starting to think that those scars aren't all abuse."</p><p>Seonghwa cast him a dubious look.  "Woozi confirmed that the scars were all outwardly inflicted.  But, you're right, that raises a lot of red flags.  We definitely need to keep an eye on him, but I don't wanna bear down on him too heavily.  He needs to get a little less dependent on me."</p><p>For the second time today, Hongjoong couldn't agree more.</p><p>"Seonghwa?  Hongjoong?  I think I hurt myself."</p><p>Both men perked up and exchanged a glance.</p><p>"We're coming, Yeosang, does it hurt or is it the paint?"</p><p>"Um, both?"</p><p>Hongjoong made it to the base of the steps first and gasped.  Everywhere the paint had been on Yeosang's skin, a harsh rash stood out in contrast to the pale fingers carefully brushing the area.  Seonghwa let out a panicked little "oh no" and rushed over to check on him.</p><p>"Hongjoong, get an ice pack.  He must have a skin allergy to the paint.  It's nothing major.  Does it itch, Yeosang?  Do you want to touch it?  Does it hurt?"</p><p>Hongjoong didn't bother listening to Yeosang's replies, he just fetched an ice pack and handed it to the fretting mess that was Seonghwa.</p><p>Yeosang laughed at Seonghwa's panic, so Hongjoong wasn't all too worried, but he did feel a little guilty about the paint.  Then again, neither of them could've known.  Strangely enough, despite how odd Yeosang kept proving to be, Hongjoong felt content.  Yet, as he placed his glass of paint water in the sink, the red tint against the metal made him feel sick.  Leaving Yeosang and Seonghwa to their giggling and allergy treatment, he retreated back upstairs.</p><p>Yeosang was kind of scary sometimes</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. One Day at a Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yeosang is confronted with his fear of going outside<br/>It works out poorly</p><p>;;</p><p>Hehehe the secrets I have to unravel make me happy<br/>Y'all don't even the know the half of it &gt;:)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was taking a long time, but Yeosang was slowly adjusting.  He had a much better read on Hongjoong and Seonghwa both.  Seonghwa let him get away with things, never lost his temper, and babied Yeosang half to death.  If Yeosang was upset, Seonghwa comforted him.  If Yeosang was happy, Seonghwa was too.  Seonghwa was like a soft, warm blanket, especially when Yeosang "forgot" something.  Honestly, he was starting to crave the attention Seonghwa gave, and kept going out of his way to get it.</p><p>Hongjoong, however, was more of a challenge.  He lost his temper easily, and was a little more reserved.  For the most part, he was nicest to Yeosang when he felt guilty.  Unfortunately for Hongjoong, Yeosang preferred when he was nice, and made a point to keep Hongjoong humble.</p><p>Either way, Yeosang had developed an attachment to being praised.  He loved when Seonghwa complimented him, and when Hongjoong broke character to do him a favor.  The constant doting was starting to get to him.</p><p>However, lately Seonghwa had been pestering him to go outside.  Yeosang always refused, which Seonghwa clearly found disappointing, but he was afraid, and rightfully so.  Of course, despite not knowing the true reason for Yeosang's fears, Seonghwa never pushed him for long.  </p><p>At some point during one of the many conversations Yeosang had eavesdropped on, Hongjoong had defended him.  'The killer is still out there...  He's clearly been abused...  Can't blame him...'  Snippets, yes, but Yeosang understood the general idea.  He was grateful for it- but he didn't want to disappoint Seonghwa.</p><p>Every time Seonghwa came home, he always had something interesting or tasty.  Yeosang was painfully curious as what their world provided, he wanted to experience it as something other than an outsider.  When Yeosang liked it, Seonghwa would always let him keep it, but it pained Yeosang to see him frown when Yeosang refused to go out and get more.</p><p>Hongjoong didn't make him feel so guilty, but he did try to compromise.  He would guide Yeosang to sit at the window, and sometimes Yeosang even let him open it.  After so long though, the dread set in and he closed it again.  But Yeosang didn't want to be scared anymore- and he wanted to impress them!</p><p>So, today's mission was to sit on the porch.  He'd be outside, yes, and vulnerable, but within reach of safety if something were to occur.  </p><p>Nobody was keeping an eye on him at the moment.  Seonghwa was home today, but it hadn't been 15 minutes yet since the last time he'd been checked on.  Finally, he made up his mind.  He set down his pencil with absolute authority, stood from where he'd been learning his letters (Seonghwa had insisted that reading wasn't hard, the liar) and walked straight to the door.</p><p>Yet when he placed his hand on the doorknob, he froze.  What if they were waiting to kill him outside?  Or what if they took him back, away from Seonghwa and Hongjoong and a normal life?  What if they killed  his new guardians?  He felt his breathing picking up, his mind growing irrational.  He was shaking.</p><p>"Yeosang?  What're you doing?"</p><p>At the sound of Seonghwa's voice, something inside Yeosang broke.  For the second time in his entire life as long as he could remember it, he burst into tears.  Seonghwa didn't rush to embrace him and he was grateful for it.  They were heart-wrenching, ugly tears that hurt in his throat and chest and forced him to fight for breath.  They were embarrassing, and he wanted desperately to be alone.  At some point, he started gasping, feeling his knees go weak, and that was when Seonghwa intervened.</p><p>"Deep breaths, Yeosang.  Slow down.  Can you tell me what happened?"</p><p>Yeosang was not at the point where he could calm down quite yet.  Somewhere beyond his own sobs, he heard a whisper of footsteps and knew Hongjoong had joined the fray.  Yeosang still couldn't turn to look at them.  Then, Seonghwa made the mistake of touching his arm, probably to comfort him, and Yeosang hit full on self-defense mode.</p><p>It was an automatic process he'd been instructed on countless times.  But when he snatched the keys off of the door shelf and swung around, fully intending on going straight for the eyes, Hongjoong stopped him.  Like, completely.  There was more strength in the vice grip on Yeosang's arm than in Yeosang's entire body, and he felt the urge to fight vanish the moment he met Hongjoong's eyes.</p><p>For once, Hongjoong was not curious.  Hongjoong was scary.  Scarier than what might be outside.  Scarier than Yeosang could ever hope to be.  It was exactly what he needed- the severity, the authority, it was familiar.  Yeosang took another too-deep breath and promptly fainted on the floor.</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Seonghwa was still shaking.  Yeosang had never had such a severe episode before.  He'd been trying to go outside- did it really scare him so much?  And of course Seonghwa had tried to pull him away from the door like an idiot, and Yeosang had attacked him, and Hongjoong had to intervene which was totally unfair to Hongjoong and also to Yeosang and- everything was awful.  Established fact.  He needed to calm down.</p><p>"Hongjoong?"</p><p>Hongjoong peeked into their room seconds later, quiet as a mouse.</p><p>"He's still out, Hwa.  I'm staying near him until he wakes up in case he has a waking fit.  I know I asked already, but you're not hurt, are you?"</p><p>Seonghwa just sniffled in response.  Hongjoong was so impossibly rational all the time, when that was supposed to be Seonghwa's job.  Hongjoong was a former patient, and even he was more stable than Seonghwa.  He felt pathetic.  Judging by the sympathy in his eyes, Hongjoong knew Seonghwa's thoughts exactly.</p><p>"...Need a hug?"  Hongjoong hated physical contact.  It'd be rude to accept, knowing that.</p><p>"...Yeah."</p><p>Hongjoong's feet were silent on the carpet as he walked, crawling unceremoniously onto the bed and plopping himself into Seonghwa's lap.  Within seconds, Hongjoong was curled up into him like a cat.  He knew he should resist, but exhaustion pulled his eyelids shut and he drifted off within the minute.</p><p>Hongjoong stayed awake, just in case.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Longer chapter today!</p><p>Meet Yunho, the cheerful grocery store clerk with a kind heart.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yeosang sat on the porch, wincing through the persistent sunlight to stare at Hongjoong.  Ever since the previous incident, which had gone without mention after he woke up, he went outside with no problems if Hongjoong was there.  Seonghwa was most definitely devastated- Yeosang wouldn't go anywhere with him alone.  But Yeosang was scared, and as much as he wanted Seonghwa to be happy, he feared for his and Seonghwa's safety.</p><p>He was healthier than before, now.  It'd been a few months since Yeosang's initial arrival, and his hands no longer shook when he lifted the heavy glass cups, or when he painted for more than a few minutes at once.</p><p>His appetite had grown a little- yet he couldn't help but make a mess of himself every time he ate.  Even now, outside on the porch eating apple slices, juice dripped down his chin to the point where he had to keep stopping painting to awkwardly swipe at his mouth.  He wasn't used to being able to take his time while he ate.</p><p>Seonghwa said it was common.  Seonghwa said a lot of things were common.  It was probably supposed to comfort him.</p><p>It didn't.</p><p>He wanted to feel special.  Like Seonghwa and Hongjoong cared for him more than the average patient.  All the doting, the sharing hobbies, he hated knowing they did it for other people.</p><p>Right, that was the new emotion recently.  Hate.  Seonghwa said it was a bad word to use, and that hating things is a lot more intense, but Yeosang was pretty sure hate described the way he felt right now best.</p><p>He stopped hating things for a second to wipe at his mouth again.  He hated when he made a mess with food, he always tried to hide it from his caretakers, not wanting to seem incompetent.  But when Hongjoong stood abruptly and vanished inside just to get him a napkin, he felt flattered.</p><p> Happiness.  Sadness.  Fear. Curiosity.  Hate.</p><p>A lot of different emotions were encompassed in those.  Yeosang felt a lot of things lately.  Behind him, the door opened, and a timid Seonghwa crept out of the doorway, clearly prepped to go somewhere.</p><p>"Yeosang, do you... Um, I'm going on a short walk to the grocery store down the street.  If you wanna come, you can."</p><p>So meek.  Yeosang didn't like when Seonghwa felt meek.  He gazed out into the trees for a moment.  Someone could be waiting out there to kill him the second he leaves the safety of his new home.</p><p>Yet the more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed.  He'd been vulnerable for half a year now, they could've killed or taken him whenever.</p><p>His recovery and relocation were kept a secret because the murderer was still out there.  They probably thought he was dead.  Probably.</p><p>"...Is it far?"</p><p>Seonghwa seemed to stop breathing for a moment.</p><p>"No, not at all.  A five minute walk is all."</p><p>Five minutes.  Five minutes there, five minutes back.  Five minutes in the store?  Probably more like ten.  20 minutes away from home.</p><p>"...Okay.  Should I change?  I was painting."</p><p>Seonghwa bounced like a little kid before he eyed Yeosang up and down.</p><p>"...Maybe we should get you cleaned up a little first.  You have, uh..." He gestured vaguely around his mouth and Yeosang flushed.</p><p>Seonghwa helped him fix his hair, a new experience, and also helped him pick a nice outfit for being in public.  Seonghwa had mostly been gifted or purchased comfortable clothes, so it took a lot of searching.  Yeosang slipped on one of the pairs of sneakers in the closet and looked in the mirror.</p><p>He looked for a long time.  He looked nice- pretty, even.  His outfit was plain- plain white t-shirt, plain blue jeans, plain black shoes.  He didn't look anywhere near as interesting as Hongjoong.  He wanted to fascinate people, he wanted them to look at him.</p><p>"Seonghwa, would you ever let me color my hair like Hongjoong?"</p><p>Seonghwa peeked out from his room to watch Yeosang fuss with his hair.</p><p>"If you want to.  It's a long process though, and it hurts."</p><p>"Oh."  Why did Hongjoong do it if it hurt?  "I do think I would like it though."</p><p>Seonghwa appeared behind him in the mirror with his usual terse smile.</p><p>"You can try whatever you'd like."</p><p>Before they could finally leave the house an hour later, Seonghwa stopped him and pulled something out of his pocket.</p><p>"These are medical bracelets Yeosang.  Leave them on even when you shower.  Let me know if one goes missing or breaks.  If something happens while you're in public, try to find someone who can help and show them your bracelets.  It has Hongjoong and I's contact info on it in case of emergencies."</p><p>His tone was harsh, deadly serious.  These bracelets were important for his safety.  He held out his wrist and let Seonghwa fasten the bracelets on.  They were sticky somehow, almost impossibly so, and the material of the bands was clearly resilient.  Good.</p><p>"Okay, we're all ready!  I still can't believe how different you look under all those bits of apple."</p><p>The words stung a little, but Yeosang took them in stride with a grin.  Even as they left the house, left the porch, Yeosang didn't allow himself to hesitate.  Seonghwa lived in a very busy place, there were countless people on the sidewalks and stores seemed to line every corner as they walked further into the most crowded parts.</p><p>A man was trailing behind them.  Following them?  No, probably just a coincidence.  Seonghwa turned right.   The man turned right.</p><p>He knew he shouldn't panic, but his hands shook, and he reached into his pocket for Hongjoong's little keychain.  As he withdrew his hand, though, it slipped from his fingers.  He couldn't just stop walking- the man was still behind them, and-</p><p>"Um, excuse me?  You dropped this."</p><p>Yeosang froze.  Seonghwa also paused, and turned around.</p><p>"Yeosang, look.  Your keychain!  Hongjoong would've been sad."</p><p>Yeosang turned and immediately had to look up- the man before him was tall, with fluffy brown hair and a kind smile.  He looked like an oversized puppy taken human form.  He looked friendly enough, but being confronted by a stranger took the breath out of Yeosang's body and he stuttered uselessly before half-ducking behind Seonghwa.</p><p>"Seonghwa, is he the new patient you talked about?  He looks like he's doing well!"  The man extended a large hand out to Yeosang, still hiding behind Seonghwa's shoulder.  "I'm Yunho, I work at the grocery store at the end of this street.  It's nice to meet you!"</p><p>Seonghwa knew this man.  Yunho.  He worked at the- the grocery store!  The one they were heading to now!  It made perfect sense.  Yeosang stepped out a little and stared at the hand.  Did the man want money?  He didn't have any.  The man was clearly expecting something, though.</p><p>After a moment of deliberate thought, he carefully placed his hand on Yunho's.  Behind him, Seonghwa began to laugh and he retracted quickly.</p><p>"Seonghwa, do I owe him money?  What do I-"</p><p>Yunho began laughing as well, and he stopped talking completely, feeling heat creep over his neck and burn his ears.</p><p>He didn't want laughed at.  Maybe it was out of spite, but Yeosang let his eyes fill with tears and feigned a panicked glance back at Seonghwa, who sobered up instantly.</p><p>"Yeosang, no, don't cry!  He wanted you to shake his hand!  You do this."  Seonghwa extended his own hand and shook Yunho's, palm to palm.</p><p>Yeosang followed suit, making sure to sniffle for emphasis.  Behind him, Seonghwa let out a tiny huff and reached to ruffle his hair.</p><p>"Yeosang has amnesia.  He's not exactly... suited... for public interactions yet."</p><p>Yunho gave a firm nod and smiled at Yeosang again.</p><p>"I hope we can see each other often, Yeosang.  Come on in- do you want a snack?"</p><p>Yeosang watched in awe as Yunho led them into the store.  It was stocked with all kinds of food- drink and eggs in fridges and fruits and vegetables in little crates.</p><p>Yunho offered him a seat up front while Seonghwa strolled through the isles, checking his phone every time he picked up an item.  Yunho sat beside him, curiosity brimming in his eyes.  Yeosang understood it, so he allowed the man to shuffle beside him until he could gather up his courage to ask Yeosang a question.</p><p>"So, um, how old are you?  We look about the same age."</p><p>Yeosang shrugged, but then figured that was kind of rude.  "The doctor said I'm probably around 20 based on my teeth."</p><p>"Oh, that's cool!  So I'm probably a little older then.  Do you want a snack?  From what I know of Seonghwa, he takes forever to shop."</p><p>Yeosang flushed.  "I don't have any money, sorry."</p><p>Yunho just laughed again.  "I'll give it to you for free.  After all, you're a patient."</p><p>For a moment, Yeosang could only stare.  For free?  Humans lived by money- Yeosang had taken lives for money, because he himself had to stay alive.  Was this man really so generous he would give up the very thing Yeosang sacrificed his life to- for a stranger?</p><p>His face felt strangely warm.  He was... happy.  He stared at Yunho some more, searching for even the slightest hint of anything bad in his eyes.  He was met with another smile and a gentle pat on the hand.</p><p>"You don't have to get anything if you don't want to."</p><p>"Yeosang!" Seonghwa's voice rang through the building as he appeared from between to tiny isles.  He was holding a small green package.  "Look what I found!"</p><p>Yeosang perked up.  It wasn't just any green package- it was his favorite snack!  His recognition must have shown, because Seonghwa began laughing.  He placed the Homerun Balls in Yeosang's hands and began placing items on the little conveyor belt in front of Yunho.  When Yeosang went to follow suit, Yunho stopped him.</p><p>"Free of charge."  </p><p>He dropped a wink and Yeosang sat down a little too fast to pass as casual.</p><p>On the way home, Yeosang opened the snacks and leaned on Seonghwa as he ate.  He was tired- he hadn't moved this much in months.  Seonghwa ruffled his hair as they walked, and Yeosang felt a new type of happiness.  Contentment.</p><p>From his place behind the cash register, Yunho smiled.</p>
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